The trick to making shit happen in your life, (even when you don’t know what you want)

What parts of your life just aren’t working for you? Where are you settling for X when you really want Y? Where do you feel stuck, out of power?

Your job? Your relationships? How you feel about yourself as a friend? As a parent? As a partner? How you feel about your home?

I am going to share with you a tool I used to create massive change in my life, even when I didn’t know exactly what I wanted.

5-steps for creating a brighter future:

STEP 1: IDENTIFY WHAT’S NOT WORKING FOR YOU

Note: There is bravery in deciding something isn’t working. Don’t worry that you are complaining, or aren’t being grateful for the things you have. I know you are grateful for a lot of things. But you want to be grateful for more, and that is an awesome, powerful realization!!! And best of all, you can have it.

STEP 2: DECLARE IT IS TIME FOR A CHANGE

This is the most important part. DECLARE. Be big. Be resolute. Let the universe know this shit ain’t working for you.

Say it inside yourself, tell it to a friend or your cat, write it in a journal, shout it from the top of a mountain, whisper it to a plant-friend. Anything. Just declare that you are ready for something else — you don’t even need to know what you want in its place.

An important distinction: There is a definite difference between being unhappy with something, and declaring you want it to change. BEING unhappy is passive, DECLARING you want something different is an action for traction. It shifts your thought patterns to action, and therefor creates an energetic shift in your reality.

STEP 3: IDENTIFY HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL in this aspect of your life

Even if you don’t know WHAT you want, you probably have some idea inside of how you want to feel — either abstractly or specifically. Joyful. Strong. Happy. Confident. Sexy. Appreciated.

Even if you THINK you know what you want, instead, focus on how you want to feel. Surprisingly, we are actually all chasing feelings, not details, so you will be more successful and less limited if you focus on creating from here.

So pull it up — Visualize it. Feel it for realz. Baaaathe in it. Do this for at least one minute, although I personally enjoy staying in as long as I can.

Warning: This step may soften your heart and create a feeling of ahhhhh.

Tip: To get more clarity on how you want to feel, check out author (and my personal spirit-animal), Danielle La Porte. Her Desire Map book and workshops are geared toward helping you create your life based on your Core Desired Feelings. Life. Changing.

STEP 4: PULL THE ENERGY TOWARD YOU

Bring it. Now that you have identified and can recognize the energy of your near, amaze-balls future, pull it towards you, through you.

It’s as easy as using your intention. Imagine you have a lasso around this big awesome boulder of what you desire and are pulling with all your might. It’s heavy. It’s huge. It’s revolutionary. Keep pulling until you are confident it has enough momentum to keep rolling toward you.

STEP 5: ACTIVELY EXPECT IT & GIVE IT A TUG

Alright, things are set in motion, now you just need to have faith and keep looking for it to show up. Actively expecting it, being grateful for it, being positive, excited, are more actions for traction that will keep that boulder on the right path.

As often as you can (ideally, at least once a day), take a moment to tap back into the feelings of it and pull it towards you once again.

Don’t lose hope. It’s coming. You will recognize it when it shows up because it will match that energy from Step 3. And realize that it can take time for the universe to rearrange itself, just keep looking.

Having a particularly bad day? Tapping back in and giving it another tug is a truly rejuvenating exercise if you find yourself in a shit-storm and don’t know how to go on.

Important Note: It may not look like you expect it to. Bonus: It might be better than anything you could have ever cooked up in that little hooman (canine pronunciation) brain.

Still Unsure?

But how could this really work? I mean, we’re not actually taking any action here. Let me give you an example of a way you probably already use this tool and just don’t realize it:

If you are like me, you might not be the best at telling someone what you want or when they are being an a-hole. When things are bothering me, I have a tendency to hold them in, mull them over way too many times, build them up, cry several times to myself… until finally, FINALLY, days or weeks later when I can’t take any more, I declare, “Okay! This has got to change! I am going to say something TODAY!” I look for an opportunity all day to say something… but that opportunity never arrives! The energy has totally shifted. The person has already stopped being an a-hole or they suggested exactly what I wanted in the first place! Magic!

This is the power of setting intentions and changing your mind-frame to action. Remember, there is a big difference between being unhappy and deciding to do something about it.

Sometimes it can feel disheartening when things move this quickly because we didn’t get to use our “power” to stand up for ourselves. And we don’t realize that we are the one that created the change! But there is an important lesson here, friend:

Change can occur without conflict. You hold a whole lot of power — past words, bigger than words. Just declaring internally with resolute, positivity, and from a place of passion that something has to change, is enough to get things moving for you in the world.

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Did you enjoy this exercise? Where are you ready to see change in your life? Post it in the comments below!

Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share!

Be gentle with yourself, dear friend! It’s time to create a life you love.

♥