I have been through a lot of changes in the past few years.
- I parted ways with a company I had been with for 8 years;
- I started pursuing art as a career;
- I got engaged;
- I turned some of my biggest passions (like yoga), into daily practices;
- I said buh-bye to the depression, anxiety, and nightmares that had plagued me for as long as I could remember;
- I beat the daily physical pain and headaches I had had for the last 7 years;
- I started to become myself.
There were a lot of tools I used to get here, but they all served to do one huge thing: change my points of view, perceptions, and habits.
It takes a lot of practice, bravery, and commitment to change our internal selves. It’s vulnerable, scary, hard-ass work. But it also creates the most revolutionary changes in our lives.
Today, I want to share 3 important and effective mind tricks I use to make the changes I create internally, stick:
1. Don’t look back
I realized early on during this time of big change for me, that looking back was one of the biggest things that held me back in the past.
It would start with a new awareness: Something would happen to trigger a new outlook or perception in me. Something that made everything easier and lighter.
But it was so strange and new that, in a moment of insecurity and out of my love for analyzing, I would try to remember the way I used to feel in order to compare and contrast the two. Well, once you do this, you might as well call yourself Orpheus*, because bye bye new perspective.
*In the Greek myth, Orpheus was allowed to retrieve his deceased wife from the Underworld as long as he didn’t look back at her while they traveled to the Upper World. Yeah, he looked, and she disappeared forever.
2. Push Off
This is what you do when you find yourself reaching back toward old habits or emotions:
Visualize yourself standing up from a table and chair, which represent your old life, your old way of being, emotions, and points of view. You are standing because you’ve realized you no longer want to be sitting at that old table… You want to move on to something better and brighter.
But can you move forward? Can you take the first step into the unknown? Our habits and fear of the unknown keep us at the table, reaching back for it. It’s familiar. It’s safe.
But this isn’t where you want to be. There’s something out in front of you that, although unknown, is exciting and full of possibility. Plus you’re fucking miserable at that table, so you need to change something.
So, before you stay here any longer, push off. Push off from that table with all your might and hurl yourself forward into the abyss. Toward change. Toward a new you.
3. Run!
If you find yourself starting to stumble once you’re moving forward, turn that stumble into a run. Catch yourself and use the momentum to move faster and faster into the new space. To commit to yourself, to being free. Leave the old you behind, and never look back.
Do this visualization with whatever part of your life you are currently trying to change. Then, whenever you find yourself reaching back for those old stability feelings and points of view, feel the table in your mind and push off again. Keep going.
This trick has helped me to get past behavior and thought patterns that I have been battling my whole life.
Like I said, changing your beliefs, habits, and perceptions is scary. It’s uncomfortable. You have to learn how to navigate the new space, you have to redefine yourself every time (which is actually pretty fun).
My old boss once told me that if we’re not uncomfortable, we’re not growing. I think this is very true. Fear is part of the deal. You just have to want whatever you want enough to push through the pain and fear of the unknown, or nothing will ever change.
So lean in, don’t look back. And change. I dare you.
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Have you ever been in a situation where your perspective suddenly changed and it felt SO good?! If so, please tell me about it in the comments!
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Love ♥ Hugs
Oh, so true. I can see you are an artist, but it sounds like it took you some time to realise your passion could also be a career.
I too gave away the headaches and anxiety and are trying to find myself again through writing and general creativity.
Life is much better outside of the bubble we spend so much time in. If I was still in this bubble I’d never have come across your beautiful art.
Thank-you for adding a little brightness to my day. :-D
Hi! Thanks so much for sharing! :)
I am so happy to hear you were able to make some changes in your life and pursue your passions! <3 It's amazing what happens when we listen to what our bodies and hearts are trying to tell us.
Yes, I always knew I wanted to be an artist, but the leap to doing it full time always seemed so far away. There are so many points of view out there about how hard it is, which if you believe, makes it impossible. These are some of the ideas I have to push away from and keep moving forward. There is so much more possibility if we just choose it. And it feel SO GOOD to choose it.
Best of luck in all your endeavors and thank you so much for your comment!
Hi Darcy,
I LOVE this post! My husband and I have been going through some intense changes lately, and we have opened up into an honesty and communication that I have never had with another person. Once we did that, things started to fall into place. It’s like we cleared a blockage and now we can make decisions that have long since plagued us with the uncertainty we felt.
I’ve shared this article via my Facebook, as I have a lot of friends and family that are struggling daily with chronic maladies, both physical and emotional. Hope it helps, even if just a little bit!
I do seriously feel lighter.
I’m going to enjoy writing my thoughts in your alpaca journal, too!
Hi Megan!
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts :) I am really glad this has been a contribution to you, and thanks for sharing it with others! <3
I so am happy to hear you and your husband were able to find a new level of communication! I think that is one of the most challenging and impactful things in a relationship... This is an area I am working on too, so thank you for the inspiration!
I hope you enjoy your journal :) I just sat out in the sun and sewed it up for you, so it should have lots of good juju ;D Thank you for your support!
Lots of Love,
Darcy