How do you start your day?

Do you have a routine or do you feel frantic and discombobulated like I used to?

For the longest time, when I woke up my mind was already on my to-do list for the day.

It’s was hard for me to handle the “hassle” of getting myself and everyone else ready for the day when my mind was already at work, and often feeling behind.

You could usually find me jumping between half-completed tasks, while trying to send emails and write notes to myself.

It’s the opposite of presence and didn’t start my day off very well.

Over the past year, I’ve been learning how much ritual grounds me. Particularly in the mornings.

[Read more…]

Three weeks ago I got super sick.

Normally I can kick a cold pretty easily. Often times I don’t even get sick all the way. I have my regimen I do when I start feeling the crud: I take special herbs and vitamins, use my neti pot, cut out sugar, increase water and sleep, and manifest my buns off toward wellbeing.

But this time was different and I could feel it.

These last 6 months have been crazy in my business. I’ve packed things in a little too tight to where I’m not getting enough rest and not enjoying life enough. I just move from one task to the next, pushing through thirst, hunger, and exhaustion to get things done.

It was no surprise to me then when this last cold took me down hard. But what did surprise me was what I learned from it — Not just that I need to rest more (yes yes yes), but that I can get more work done by working less.

Let me explain…

Being down for a week (and I was) isn’t really an option in my business right now. Whether you’re employed by a company or by yourself, I’m guessing it’s probably not for you either. Who has that much sick leave?!

So like most of you would probably also do, I tried to work through the sickness. There was stuff that just HAD to get done.

This proved to be a fairly hard task. If I sat at my desk or so much as thought critically about something for 5 minutes, I started to feel really sick and my body would ache.

My body had reaaaaalllly had enough of me pushing her. She was done.

So I yielded. I gave myself deep permission to be sick. I gave myself deep permission to lay on the couch and nap and watch movies and play video games and nap some more.  No guilt allowed.

And while healing was definitely top priority, I knew that I still had to get those work things done. So I did the only thing I could do:

I worked in 5-minute increments.

With lonnnnnnnng breaks in between.

I oscillated from the couch, to my computer, to bed, back to the couch, to my computer again.

I did a lot more sleeping and relaxing than working, and a surprising thing happened: even though I worked less hours and took way more breaks, I actually got a lot more done than I normally would!!! I was like “daaang, I’m good!!” (high-five self)

Here’s why this worked:

1. I made quicker decisions and didn’t over-work a task because I knew I only had 5 minutes to do it.
2. And because I knew I only had 5 minutes, I wouldn’t let myself get distracted by shiny objects (notifications, other to-do’s, new ideas).

I got my shit done and then went and laid back on the couch.

This idea isn’t new.

It’s a method I’ve heard of many times — working on things in small, uninterrupted increments of time… Even with long breaks in between.

But I never really allowed myself to try it until it was the only option.

Usually my approach is to just push through thirst, hunger, and exhaustion to get things done.

And deeper than that, I realize I equate that push feeling when you’re busy and stressed, to the feeling of success and accomplishment.

I knew that wasn’t right. I knew there was another way to get things done, but I wasn’t quite ready to try it.

Is it weird to say I’m happy I got sick?

It sucked, but it totally showed me a whole new possibility for how to approach my work. A way where I can actually enjoy my life, and even get more done in my business.

This method has continued to work too.

Since I was sick few weeks ago I have still been trying to work in short periods of time and take breaks in between to recharge or work on other stuff at home.

The days I do it, I get SOOOO much stuff done and feel really accomplished, relaxed, and even happy!

If you try this method, here’s the four keys I’ve found to success:

1. Prioritize your to-do’s. Check out a book called “Eat that Frog” if you need tips.
2. Minimize Distractions – Turn your phone off and stay away from Google.  You must be vigilant in staying focused on the task at hand until it’s complete.
3. Give yourself a limited amount of time to complete your task. This creates the hustle and pressure to make fast decisions. Even if it’s a longer task, like writing this blog post, complete it in shorter increments. I like to set a little blue bird kitchen timer I have.
4. Take breaks! This part is really important! Just try it! When your time runs out, take a break. Get up and walk away from your project to drink water, stretch, read a few pages of a book, or sit on the couch and do nothing — whatever will make you feel rejuvenated! 

The work we do in the world is so important, but so are our lives and our hearts.

I hear so many women talk about how they’re too busy to take any time for themselves. And I get it, I was just there.

But will you at least try it for a day? I think you will be surprised at how much you get done and how refreshed your heart feels.

Give yourself permission to sit on the couch, to take a bath, to cook a meal without thinking about work. To laugh, to giggle. To appreciate the softness of your flannel sheets, the smell of your lover, the sunshine on your face. Notice the way the fur on your cat floats in the sunlight. And just be. Sink into your heart like snuggling into your favorite blanket. Soft, warm, and thick with the scent of home.

Everything will be alright. In fact, it will be grand.

There’s more than one way to do this, and we here with you, learning too.

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Lots of Love,

How to stop should-ing on yourself and actually take some action.

I am a huge list maker. I keep them on paper, in books, on my phone, on my computer, and in my brain.

Lately, I’ve been really trying to focus on the creation end of my business, and all the office work seems to have fallen by the wayside. As well as a lot of house work.

Today’s my day off. I should be relaxing, but instead I’m feeling the pressure of all these undone things weighing over me.

I don’t know what to do, and can’t get myself to relax, so instead I anxiously work on some to-do’s. Mow the lawn, get my books up to date, review my upcoming bills.

But it doesn’t help. I still feel so far behind and pretty half-assed at the things I did complete.

IT’S ALL AN EXPERIMENT

My anxiety’s only getting worse, so I decide to journal in the garden. Journaling really helps me dump out all the thoughts and judgements that are banging around in my brain. It creates some space and silence, which is where pieces of advice whisper in.

While I was journaling, I remembered something my amazing life coach and massage therapist, Tessa Brauer, told me earlier today. “It’s all an experiment”. I don’t even remember what we were talking about, but I had done something and it didn’t go the way I wanted. “So try something else”.

It’s a frame of mind I know well from working with her, but I forget to embody sometimes. That we are not stuck with the choices we make. If something’s not working for us, we can try something else. Again, and again, and again.

(Most of us just keep trying the same things, hoping for different results. Which is Einstein’s definition of insanity).

TRYING SOMETHING ELSE

Since starting my art business in 2015, I’ve been REALLY good about keeping my books up to date. Doing taxes was pretty breezy, I have to say. This comes from me being a Capricorn Extreme, and also my excitement to own my own business and feel professional.

In November last year, my world shifted and I’ve been very bad about keeping up my books ever since.

I feel really guilty about it and frustrated with myself. That I can’t organize myself well enough to track that any more.

And this just makes me do my books (like I did today), from a place of anxiety, judgement, and lack, which equals no fun.

And it’s SO important to me to be in a happy state when I do things. I believe our thoughts create our reality, and our emotional state snowballs into our predominant state, which affects the things we attract and the health of our bodies.

So I realized, my choice to not do my books anymore (and the ensuing anxiety), was simply part of a life experiment.

Before, I did my books all the time and it made me feel pretty good. It wasn’t that hard, but was a little distracting at times. Then I stopped doing them, and now I feel totally disjointed from my finances and like I’m probably missing a ton of data that I’ll have to find later.

Okay, so that didn’t work. Cool. Let’s go back to option 1. Maybe tweak some things.

SHOULD-ING ON YOURSELF

I SHOULD do my books more often. I SHOULD be better about this.

If you haven’t heard this term before, it’s called “should-ing on yourself”.

It’s when you make yourself feel bad for the things you should be doing. And it gets you nowhere.

I mean, try it. Say, ‘I should (insert thing you should be doing)”. Doesn’t it just make you feel like a total piece of shit? Like you’re really bad at whatever it is?

When you say you “should” do something, it just focuses you on the fact that you don’t do it often enough and what the result of that is. Cue: Hopelessness.

REFRAME

So instead of thinking, “I should be better about this” or “I should do my books every week”, try turning it into a question.

For instance:

What would happen if I did my books every Friday?

What would happen if I put away things right after I used them?

What would happen if I drank lots of water?

What would happen if I planned my meals every 4 days?

What would happen if I set aside time for writing every day?

What would happen if I meditated every day?

What would happen if I did yoga or ran every day?

What would happen if I paid off all my bills, past expenditures, and had $3,000 in savings?

Bam. Can you feel that? The excitement and space and fun that might ensue if you (I) did those things?

By posing it as a question, rather than a conclusion of, “I need to do X to get Y”, it creates room for the unknown, for playfulness, and most importantly, for excitement. It gets you to focus on the big picture of what you really want, rather than the menial tasks to get you there.

If you can get the energy of what would happen, then you might feel so excited that you can’t wait to begin. Which is a very different place to begin from than feeling like you need to or should be doing something.

I hope this is useful to you! I feel so much lighter and excited tackle my to-do list now.

Tell me below: What’s one goal or to-do you have that you can reframe here as “What would happen if I ____?” Give it a try and feel the magic!

♥

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Are you a wait-to-the-last-minute-er? Me too. Especially on things like taxes and project proposals.

So often I think, “Oh it’s not due yet, I can focus on this other thing for now. I still have pleeeeeenty of time.”

And then a month goes by and ::bam:: it’s crunch time.

Someday I’ll figure out how to finish things early. But for now, here are my 5 secrets for optimizing procrastination and making any sucky thing suck less. ;)

Secret #1: Start with a clean space.

A CLEAN SPACE = A CLEAN MIND

And any task is much easier to complete when your mind is clear.

If your space is cluttered, your mind probably is too. So let’s fix that.

Now let me say this: Do NOT fall down the rabbit hole and put off the task you need to do by cleaning your space. You are going to be fast and efficient at this. Got it?

To do so, follow a 10-minute rule when you prep a space:

1. Set a timer for 10 minutes and clean your work area. (ACTUALLY set a timer; don’t just look at the clock). It’s amazing how much faster and more focused we work when we know there’s a short deadline.

2. Whatever you haven’t cleaned up in that 10 minutes… throw it in a box. I know this isn’t the best habit. But seriously, you will feel so much more grounded and focused when you have a clean desk. Just be sure to add cleaning out that box to your to-do list for later!

Secret #2: Plan

Again, set your timer for 10 minutes and make a to-do list of all the things you’ll need to do to finish the job.

Also, grab any materials, files, or supplies you will need so they’re close by!

In Brian Tracy’s book, “Eat That Frog”, (which I highly recommend) he talks about the importance of planning with the 10/90 Rule:

“The first 10 percent of time you spend planning and organizing your work before you begin will save you as much as 90 percent of the time in getting the job done once you get started”.  – BRIAN TRACY

Again, don’t procrastinate on the main task here. Plan efficiently!

Secret #3: Fuel your body

Make sure you have a glass of water on your desk and some healthy snacks not far away.

Getting any long task done is always harder when your brain slows down due to dehydration and low blood sugar.

This is a really important one for me. I have a tendency to just keep pushing through and I get SO much more done more quickly when I take breaks and make sure my body is fueled up!

Secret #4: (The Most Important) Add some fun

As one of my favorite childhood idols said…

“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and ::snap:: the job’s a game… A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down”    – MARY POPPINS

While you may not be able to make doing your taxes a game, you can certainly sweeten the deal.

So how do you make it more fun? Simply by adding in other things you love. By bringing some soul into the process.

So ask yourself, “How could I make this more fun for me?”

For me, it’s usually lighting some incense, turning on my favorite playlist, and grabbing some apples and cheese and a cup of blueberry tea.

Don’t under-estimate this step. Making your process more enjoyable will help you get the job done faster and do a better job.

It will put you in a groove vs. loathing every second of it.

It will make all the difference between coming home feeling exhausted, and coming home feeling accomplished.

Secret #5: Envision Kicking Ass

Right before you begin, sit down at your space, close your eyes, and imagine how you want to feel while you complete the task.

If it didn’t suck. If you weren’t judging yourself for waiting so long, feeling incompetent, or super stressed. If you were a rock-star at your taxes, or whatever you’re doing, what would that feel like to you?

Would you feel efficient, focused, confident, professional, energized?

Whatever the answer is for you, imagine you feel that way. Pull the feeling into your body and your heart. Sit with it. Feel gratitude for it. Embody it.

You can do this.

Now open your eyes, and begin.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I hope these tips help you get to work and have some fun while you’re at it!  

Secrets #4 and 5 are especially useful for ANY loathsome or nerve-racking task in your life. They can make doing dishes more fun or help you build confidence for a presentation.

Remember, although you don’t have control over what you do, you do have control over how you do it. And that can make all the difference.

If you found this valuable, please share it. ♥

And to receive these jedi-mind-tricks for joy in your inbox, you can subscribe to my newsletter here <3

Dreams of Love & Sunshine,

The holiday season is a busy time for all of us, and it can be really stressful. Our jobs are usually more demanding, there’s lots of social events, shopping to do, a house to decorate, and family traditions to keep up with.

You want to get everything done, but you also want to be able to enjoy the season with your family and friends. To make memories, drink hot cocoa, go look at Christmas lights, bake cookies, dance and kiss under the mistletoe.

With a long list of to-do’s, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and super stressed. And as I’m sure you know, stress is actually pretty anti-productive. Rather than inspiring you to get things done quickly, being stressed about tasks undone just makes everything else harder.

Luckily, I found a way to help you feel more energized, focused, and grounded this holiday season, so you can get a lot more done in a merrier way.

If you find yourself dreading or procrastinating on your to-do list, try this:

Think about something you need to get done that’s making you feel stressed. A project at work, a messy house, your gift shopping list, your lofty crafting plans.

Notice how you feel when you think about it… Anxious? Worried? Judgmental for not having it done?

Now this is going to sound silly, but…

Pretend it’s already done. I know. Just stick with me here.

Imagine yourself finishing your to-do with finesse, calmness, and efficiency. Imagine yourself checking it off your to-do list. Feeling the sense of accomplishment, joy, relief, and any other positive emotions it will add to your life to have it complete.

Hold these positive feelings in your heart for a moment. And then let it spread to the rest of your body. Every cell. Take a few more deep breaths and drink it in. Feel gratitude in your heart for having it complete.

Now, how do you feel? Motivated? Positive? Like you can actually get it done, and maybe it will even be fun?

This exercise does two things:

1. Catapults you through resistance

By pretending you’ve already accomplished your tasks, you can preemptively tap into the energy high you get when you actually complete something.

These positive emotions help you tackle the project with more confidence, energy, and a positive outlook, which in turn helps you get it done faster, better, and more merrily along the way.

2. Puts the universe on your side.

Energetically pulling your desires into your heart, backing them up with positive emotions, and feeling gratitude as if you already have them, are very powerful manifesting tools.

Our emotions, whether positive or negative, tell the universe we want more of what we’re reacting to. So by backing up your desire with positive emotions and gratitude, you’re telling the universe what you want, so it can put external factors on your side.

So try it and let me know how it works for ya!

Stressed is the last thing we should be during the holiday season. It can be such a magical time if you make it that way.

Please let me know if this tool was helpful in reducing your stress over things undone. And please share it with others so they might make more snow angels this season too.

Wishing you hearths full of happy memories.

Love & Cocoa,

I am truly thankful for technology.

It makes my life easier, it can be a lot of fun (cat videos), and I think it’s pretty cool how it connects us all.

But I also know, sometimes I feel addicted to my phone and I don’t like it.

I know what it’s like to mindlessly reach for my phone, to aimlessly switch from app to app, and scroll my news feed for a ridiculous amount of time.

What I’ve started to notice, is that it feels almost like I’m looking for something. Trying to fulfill something.

Well, turns out, that’s exactly what’s happening.

Science is proving it happens on a physiological level, but the good news is, I found a way to overcome it, so you can easily refocus your energy onto what really matters. All by asking one simple question.

I started asking it a few months ago (before I learned about the science). The question has changed my relationship with my phone, and it’s exponentially increased how productive I am on a daily basis.

Really. I can’t believe how much stuff I’ve gotten done that I’ve been saying I didn’t have enough time to do.

Part I: Why we get addicted to our phones

Phone and social media addiction are caused by two chemicals in the brain.

One (dopamine), causes us to “seek” out things. Survival wise, this is food, water, and shelter. Technology wise, this is information, phone alerts, video games, posts, pictures, cat videos, etc.

The other chemical at play (opioids), reinforces our seeking behavior by making us feel good whenever we find what we’re looking for. Success! Cat videooooooosss….

What happens when you can’t seem to put down your phone, is that you’re seeking out something (triggered by dopamine), and then getting rewarded with opioids (which makes you feel good), so you seek out more things (dopamine), and get rewarded again (opioids)… Basically, you fall down a seeking and reward black hole until you’ve wasted five hours and have a serious neck ache.

It’s no wonder the average American now spends 4.7 hours a day on their phones.

Part II: How to Break the Cycle

A few months ago, I was staring at my phone, hesitating between which app to open…

I realized I was looking for something, but that something wasn’t anything tangible. It wasn’t the answer to a question I had, nor someone’s phone number, nor was I responding to a notification.

I had just instinctually picked up my phone and was going to “look at things”. So fun.

When I realized I wasn’t on my phone for any particular reason, I asked myself, “What am I looking for”?

I realized, I was looking for a feeling.

So I dove deeper: What feeling?

Well, my soul was feeling inadequate, hungry. I was craving to feel inspiration, joy, and a sense of accomplishment.

Cool.

So then I asked myself, “Will anything in my phone give me these feelings?”

Nope.

And with that realization, I suddenly felt more present, more aware, and a lot less interested in my phone. The pull was gone.

So of course, the next question was, “What can I do to give myself this feeling?”

And again, magic happened.

I started doing things! Things that I’ve been wanting to do but never seem to have the time to do!

Things like practicing my guitar (which I’ve had for sixteen years but have never learned to play until now), reading one of the twelve books I’ve started, taking our dog for a walk, drawing, doing the dishes, doing yoga, cleaning the house, working on projects, etc.

Suddenly the house started feeling cleaner and more joyful, I was accomplishing more, I was happier, and I was more present all the time.

And all of it came from asking myself, “What am I looking for?”, whenever I mindlessly picked up my phone.

So give it a shot.

If you sometimes pick up your phone for no good reason, or to “look at things”, try this!

The way to generate the most joy in your life is to actively build your dreams, to do the things you love, to feed your soul.

While social media and our phones are useful and even fun sometimes, I bet you have passions you’ve never pursued, or dreams for your home or your life you have yet to bring to fruition.

I hope this tool can give you more time for these things. It certainly did for me.

What am I looking for?

Will anything in my phone give me this feeling?

What can I do to give myself this feeling?

Bonus!!!

I also have a bonus for you, if you’re a subscriber to my newsletter: I painted you this cellphone wallpaper to remind you to ask the question! I have mine set as the screen saver on my phone and LOVE IT!

(If you’re a subscriber, it will be in your inbox, along with this article. If you don’t already subscribe, click here!)

Let me know if you like it and I can make them for all my next articles too!

—

Know someone who’s trying to beat the phone addiction? Share this with them! Or share to social media!

All love and all things in moderation… Except joy and fun… And chocolate cake… And kittens.

Best,

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-wise/201209/why-were-all-addicted-texts-twitter-and-google

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/feb/10/smart-phone-nation-americans-now-spend-five-hours-/