Last week I discovered a super effective way to stop loathing and judging myself so much, and to start actually achieving my goals.
I told my dear friend Holly about it, and both of us have been killing it for the last week, jumping some major personal hurtles!
HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED:
While I was driving back from yoga one morning, I was thinking about some things in my life and business that I have been obsessively frustrated with.
I founds myself thinking things like:
- I suck. Why can’t I paint more consistently? I want to get back to feeling super inspired and creative!
- I can’t figure out how to organize my schedule right. I want to get back to that burst of productivity I had.
- Why did I stop writing?! I need to get back into writing my blog posts! But I feel so uninspired.
- I’m tired of injuring myself! I just want to get back to my body feeling good again.
Notice anything?
All my whining and goals were about getting BACK to some place I had already been.
SO, ISSUE ONE:
What if we can never get back? Anywhere. I mean, the person you were and the moment in which everything aligned to create that exact outcome, has passed.
Trying to get back just creates a lot of anxiety, cuz I’m pretty sure it’s impossible. (Tip: If something sucks, you’re probably doin’ it wrong)
ISSUE TWO:
Focusing on past achievements and being unhappy with your current circumstances is sooooo out of alignment with the present moment. Which is a great way to keep yourself stuck.
ALTERNATIVE:
What if instead of focusing on getting back to something, you focused on creating new goals? In the present.
In this moment, you are a completely new person, who has a whole new set of circumstances and opportunities available. The choices you make and the things you set into motion in this moment, will create a completely different (and potentially better) reality than before.
This is exciting stuff! You can create so much RIGHT NOW!
This is true for relationships, your body, your job, your passions.
There is so much possibility in the current moment and out there in front of you. Whereas the past, is the opposite of possibility. It is fixed, and complete.
For Holly and I, things feel so much lighter and some amazing new possibilities are already showing up.
We’ve certainly stopped judging ourselves as much for not measuring up to our own standards. Which makes actually reaching goals, so much more fun and easy.
And we are much more excited about our new goals and the inspired new approaches.
So I challenge you:
When you start talking smack to yourself about how pathetic and inadequate you are, ask if you are comparing yourself to your past.
If you are, cool. Say goodbye and redirect your attention to what you want to create in the present moment and out in front of you. Then, start making plans and taking steps to get there.
I promise, it will be a whole lot easier and tons more fun.
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Lots of Love,
This post and the other one about leaving the table and moving forward are gold! I can relate–I just made a printable last week that basically says don’t focus on your past. I’ve often looked at a moment, or moments in my past and thought, I was really happy then, how do I get back to it? But you’re right, it’s about being present and about creating new opportunities now.
You’re a beautiful writer–keep writing this type of stuff! Do you know Marie Forleo? Your writing and message reminds me of her!
Kristie
Thanks so much, Kristie! <3 I am glad you enjoyed the posts :) I truly truly appreciate the encouragement.
Yes, I love Marie! I took B-School earlier this year! It was amaze-balls, and what gave me the courage to start writing stuff like this.
Lots of Love,
Darcy